Modern men are WEAKLINGS!

Disclaimer: The following is an advertisement on behalf of my husband, Mr. Whitford.

From the beginning of time, men were robust and built to LAST. Adam, the very first man, lived to the ripe old age of 930! Through the years, thanks to sin and the increased liberalism that brings, lifespans got shorter. Now it takes a miracle from God for anyone to live to even 100.
But it's not just a shorter life all this namby pambyism has wrought. Men are PHYSICALLY WEAKER, mere shadows of their former selves!

Judges 14:5-6 Then went Samson down, and his father and his mother, to Timnath, and came to the vineyards of Timnath: and, behold, a young lion roared against him.
And the Spirit of the LORD came mightily upon him, and he rent him as he would have rent a kid, and he had nothing in his hand: but he told not his father or his mother what he had done.

Yes, it's unfair to compare the strength of any man to that of Samson, especially when the Spirit of the LORD comes mightily upon him, so it wouldn't be right to expect any man to be able to rend a lion. BUT BEING ABLE TO REND A KID (baby goat) WAS SOMETHING THAT WAS ONCE CONSIDERED COMPARATIVELY EASY!
How many of today's sissified men can TEAR A GOAT APART WITH THEIR BARE HANDS?!!?
Horror at this realization has prompted my husband, Mr. Whitford, to announce his new business venture: a new BIBLICALLY CORRECT gymnasium for MEN ONLY... The Taut Christian.
Gone will be the useless free weights and treadmills that populate today's liberal atheist gyms. Instead, this facility will concentrate on building muscle through prayer and True Christian fellowship.

1 Timothy 4:8 For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.

After working up a good sweat from wrestling with the demons that have weakened modern gentlemen, members will then be provided with discounted bottles of Mr. Whitford's new sports drink - Alligatorwine.

1 Timothy 5:23 Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine often infirmities.

The Taut Christian will accept early membership enrollment starting Monday, August 9th, with its Grand Opening on Wednesday, September 8th.
Free samples of Alligatorwine will be made available after church tomorrow, Sunday August 8th, and will be given out every Sunday until the gymnasium opens. After that, it will only be available at The Taut Christian until a rollout throughout select stores starting February 2011. (All dates depending on if the Final Trumpet doesn't sound first.)

Good Ideas: Bringing back slavery

As the conversation in this great nation revolves around how B. Hussein Obama and the LIEberals who kowtow to him are working overtime to remove the last of our precious freedoms, let's not forget the liberty that we already lost. Liberty such as THE GOD-GIVEN RIGHT TO OWN SLAVES! Thanks to that RINO (Republican In Name Only) Abraham Lincoln, the United States of America started turning her back on the LORD when "Honest" Abe first stole the presidency!

Leviticus 25:44 Both thy bondmen, and thy bondmaids, which thou shalt have, shall be of the heathen that are round about you; of them shall ye buy bondmen and bondmaids.
25:45 Moreover of the children of the strangers that do sojourn among you, of them shall ye buy, and of their families that are with you, which they begat in your land: and they shall be your possession.
25:46 And ye shall take them as an inheritance for your children after you, to inherit them for a possession; they shall be your bondmen for ever: but over your brethren the children of Israel, ye shall not rule one over another with rigour.

It wasn't communism in the Sixties that gave communism a foothold, IT WAS COMRADE ABE who actively worked to first destroy the FREE MARKET SYSTEM THAT MAKES AMERICA GREAT by taking away the FREEDOM of law-abiding Americans to own slaves!
This is supposed to be a CHRISTIAN COUNTRY FOUNDED BY CHRISTIAN MEN BASED ON CHRISTIAN PRINCIPLES!

Exodus 21:2 If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing.

Was it wrong to concentrate on black folk as slaves? Yes. Anyone can be a slave. MY HUSBAND SHOULD HAVE THE FREEDOM TO SELL OUR DAUGHTER AS A MAIDSERVANT!

Exodus 21:7 And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do.

IS STALIN SUDDENLY IN CHARGE HERE?!?!?
If we can once more get DECENT leaders in charge, we can ABOLISH THE THIRTEENTH AMENDMENT!
Imagine it! High unemployment? Get the slackers off welfare and into the care of a kindly owner! Illegal immigrants? Come to America illegally, stay as the legal property of a CITIZEN!

Ephesians 6:5 Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ;
6:6 Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;
6:7 With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men:
6:8 Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free.

1 Timothy 6:1 Let as many servants as are under the yoke count their own masters worthy of all honour, that the name of God and his doctrine be not blasphemed.
6:2 And they that have believing masters, let them not despise them, because they are brethren; but rather do them service, because they are faithful and beloved, partakers of the benefit. These things teach and exhort.

Titus 2:9 Exhort servants to be obedient unto their own masters, and to please them well in all things; not answering again;
2:10 Not purloining, but shewing all good fidelity; that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things.

It's time to say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! We must TAKE BACK AMERICA for GOD and get decent, humane, MORAL slavery laws into place! I want God-fearing slaves, and I'm sick of people who think they know better than THE LORD telling me I can't have any!

Please join me in prayer and ask Jesus to help our nation's leaders to get America back on the right track.
Thank you, and God Bless.