Modern men are WEAKLINGS!

Disclaimer: The following is an advertisement on behalf of my husband, Mr. Whitford.

From the beginning of time, men were robust and built to LAST. Adam, the very first man, lived to the ripe old age of 930! Through the years, thanks to sin and the increased liberalism that brings, lifespans got shorter. Now it takes a miracle from God for anyone to live to even 100.
But it's not just a shorter life all this namby pambyism has wrought. Men are PHYSICALLY WEAKER, mere shadows of their former selves!

Judges 14:5-6 Then went Samson down, and his father and his mother, to Timnath, and came to the vineyards of Timnath: and, behold, a young lion roared against him.
And the Spirit of the LORD came mightily upon him, and he rent him as he would have rent a kid, and he had nothing in his hand: but he told not his father or his mother what he had done.

Yes, it's unfair to compare the strength of any man to that of Samson, especially when the Spirit of the LORD comes mightily upon him, so it wouldn't be right to expect any man to be able to rend a lion. BUT BEING ABLE TO REND A KID (baby goat) WAS SOMETHING THAT WAS ONCE CONSIDERED COMPARATIVELY EASY!
How many of today's sissified men can TEAR A GOAT APART WITH THEIR BARE HANDS?!!?
Horror at this realization has prompted my husband, Mr. Whitford, to announce his new business venture: a new BIBLICALLY CORRECT gymnasium for MEN ONLY... The Taut Christian.
Gone will be the useless free weights and treadmills that populate today's liberal atheist gyms. Instead, this facility will concentrate on building muscle through prayer and True Christian fellowship.

1 Timothy 4:8 For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.

After working up a good sweat from wrestling with the demons that have weakened modern gentlemen, members will then be provided with discounted bottles of Mr. Whitford's new sports drink - Alligatorwine.

1 Timothy 5:23 Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine often infirmities.

The Taut Christian will accept early membership enrollment starting Monday, August 9th, with its Grand Opening on Wednesday, September 8th.
Free samples of Alligatorwine will be made available after church tomorrow, Sunday August 8th, and will be given out every Sunday until the gymnasium opens. After that, it will only be available at The Taut Christian until a rollout throughout select stores starting February 2011. (All dates depending on if the Final Trumpet doesn't sound first.)

Buses - the Road to Communism

It's a 5:40 on a Wednesday and your husband called to tell you not to worry about dinner, he's going to eat out with some of the men from work. With a little free time on your hands, you hop into your Lincoln Town Car and head off to your favorite Bible bookstore that, unfortunately, CLOSES at 6pm. Traffic is already quite busy, when suddenly you find yourself stuck behind a BUS.
Most NORMAL people don't think of buses except for those occasions where they become a nuisance. I know I didn't, not until I came across this VERY GOOD POINT today from Peter Roberts of Drivers Alliance...

And finally I hate buses because they are the symbol of a socialist society where people rely on the state to provide transport.

YES! The lazy WELFARE QUEENS of America expect MY HUSBAND'S TAXES to pay for them to get to the ABORTION CLINICS and CRACK HOUSES! No wonder so many people in this nation are enamored by SOCIALISM and expect the government to pick up the tab for EVERYTHING!
The PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION NANNY STATE is directly responsible for the mess our economy is in right now! "The government will drive me to the supermarket, so it might as well buy my food too! Then once it drives me home, it should also pay my rent! And why shouldn't I overdose on meth? The government can pay for my healthcare!"
It goes even futher than that! Go back in the history of buses in America. If it wasn't for fussing over a perfectly fine seat on a bus in the middle of the last century, JOHN MCCAIN WOULD BE PRESIDENT RIGHT NOW! (Or maybe Hillary Clinton, but we know as far as our beloved USA has strayed, not even the DemocRATs would have voted for her!)
Enough is enough. We must stand up to the JACKBOOTED THUGS who ride on buses and say NO MORE! The American economy is FALLING APART and we can no longer afford to pay for raggedy marihuana cigarette smoking bums to get a subsidized right to the WELFARE OFFICE where they can further pick our pockets so they can stock up on Colt 45 malt liquor and spend their days watching Oprah instead of GETTING JOBS!
The George W. Bush (BLESS HIM, LORD!) tax cuts are about to expire, as B. Hussein Obama and the rest of the LIEberals in Congress want to bring the economy crashing further by taking more money from the rich!
One way to keep the wealth TRICKLING DOWN and keep the tax cuts going is to SAVE MONEY by ABOLISHING PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION! We may almost be there, but we are NOT YET a SOCIALIST FAILED STATE like the Soviet Union, Cuba or Sweden! If the demand for buses is there, the FREE MARKET will take care of it!
If you don't like that, then buy a car, hippy!

It's my birthday - thank You, Jesus!

Today is my birthday, and I would like to thank the LORD for creating me all those years ago, and for waiting until I became SAVED before RAPTURING UP all TRUE CHRISTIANS and laying waste to the world! (At this rate I may become a grandmother before He sounds the trumpet and pulls the trigger, though I pray every day that this day is the LAST.)
My family, friends, and church acquaintances have all showered me with gifts, for which I thank them. GOD BLESS you all. It will take a few days, but I WILL pay you all the fair market price for each and every present. There is no such thing as a FREE LUNCH, and I will NOT contribute to our nation's descent into COMMUNISM by accepting "free" gifts.
http://www.suntimes.com/business/savage/2464546,CST-NWS-savage05.savagearticle

No wonder America is getting it all wrong when it comes to government, and taxes, and policy. We all act as if the "lemonade" or benefits we're "giving away" is free.

And so the voters demand more -- more subsidies for mortgages, more bailouts, more loan modification and longer periods of unemployment benefits.

They're all very nice. But these things aren't free.

The government only gets the money to pay these benefits by raising taxes, meaning taxpayers pay for the "free lemonade." Or by printing money -- which is essentially a tax on savings, since printing more money devalues the wealth we hold in dollars.

If we can't teach our kids the basics of running a lemonade stand, how can we ever teach Congress the basics of economics?

Or maybe it's the other way around: The kids are learning from the society around them. No one has ever taught them there's no free lunch -- and all they see is "free," not the result of hard work, and saving, and scrimping.

Anyone who has given me a gift and will not accept payment in return will have their names entered into my ENEMIES OF AMERICA notebook that will be sent into the Department of Homeland Security once it's filled, and will be PRAYED FOR. If the DHS doesn't yet have a file on every PINKO who wants a BLOATED AND INTRUSIVE government, they will soon enough!

GOD BLESS!