Funerals - a FANTASTIC OPPORTUNITY to WITNESS to the unsaved!

I went to my Aunt Cathleen's funeral on Thursday. I wasn't going to, not until JESUS spoke to and inspired me.
It's a funny thing about funerals. Outside of a TRUE CHRISTIAN church, no matter what the deceased was like, what they believed, or who they worshiped in life, the "pastor", priest, imam, rabbi, voodooist, or whatever CRAZINESS they call their SATANIC leaders will fill the mourners heads with LIES about how the deceased has gone on to a "better" place and is with God now. Unless they were a TRUE CHRISTIAN, that is, of course, BALONEY and we KNOW it, but others will keep on thinking that it's okay to not repent their sins and give their lives over to Jesus. But what can we do?
Now normally TRUE CHRISTIANS are advised to steer clear of false "churches", temples, mosques, laboratories, and mud huts. If we come across them, we should still usually do best to cross the street to AVOID them or take another route altogether to our destinations unless we plan on dropping off some King James Bibles or Chick tracts at their doors. Heck, what I'm going to suggest here should only be attempted by those who have been saved for at least a YEAR and are high-level tithers, as those who aren't could still be led astray by FALSE PROMISES of anyone going to Heaven no matter what.
If you are TRULY AND SECURELY SAVED, go to the funerals! Bring your King James Bible, bring your faith, be prepared to fight for the souls of the living!

Ephesians 6:11-20 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel,
For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

My Aunt Cathleen, like most of my unsaved family, was an UNREPENTANT papist, so unfortunately she is going to be spending eternity ROASTING in the PITS OF HELL. It's TOO LATE to do anything for her. But the rest of my family? There is STILL A CHANCE. The funeral was at a papist "church", but with JESUS in my heart and my husband, Mr. Whitford, providing strong leadership, I KNEW I had it in me to do what was necessary.
You don't have to do it exactly the same way I did. Choose the BEST time to speak up. You will want to say something before you even cross the threshold to the house of FALSE WORSHIP, but bite your tongue and wait for a more opportune moment. Don't worry, JESUS will let you know when the time is right.
In my case, I was fortunate that my husband, Mr. Whitford, has taken to bringing his secretary, Bernard, along with him everywhere he goes in case he needs someone to take dictation, and my shorthand is terrible. I know, a male secretary? I was surprised at first too, but as Mr. Whitford always says, "There's no need to take a woman out of the kitchen when you can hire a man to do the job right." What follows is a transcript of what happened.

Priest (and likely pedophile): After years of fighting the cancer that finally claimed her, Cathleen is now at peace and can take comfort in the arms of God. She...
Me: LIES! LIES! LIES! Don't listen to this peddler of lies! Aunt Cathleen didn't repent her sins and accept JESUS! She died an IDOLATOR and you will ALL die idolators unless you turn your backs on the pope and REPENT TO GOD! "For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king!" It's in the BIBLE! GOD HATES IDOLATRY! STOP PRAYING TO MARY! Galatians! "Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these" including idolatry! Corinthians! "Neither be ye idolaters, as were some of them; as it is written!" READ Leviticus! Exodus! Deuteronomy! "But thus shall ye deal with them; ye shall destroy their altars, and break down their images, and cut down their groves, and burn their graven images with fire!" REPENT YOUR...

It was there that I was PHYSICALLY MANHANDLED and thrown out of the FAKE "church". Notice how I stuck to ONE concept, the worshiping of and praying to idols of Mary. Depending on where you are, you may be limited with how much time you have. You may be asked to leave like I was, or if you're at a mosque, you will want to leave before they behead you or a suicide bomber in the crowd EXPLODES himself to shut you up and DENY PEOPLE THE TRUTH.
Was it worth it? My cousin Peter gave me a call this morning, asked what I meant about idolatry. That was a few hours ago, and I shortly after had a PASTOR call him back, and they just finished talking before I sat to blog my experience. Peter is calling up his fake "church" now and driving over to the BIBLE BELIEVING BAPTIST CHURCH even as I write this so that he can be PROPERLY BAPTIZED. PRAISE JESUS!

Does God love EVERYONE?

I keep hearing LIEberals whining that "God loves everyone" when they refuse to grab the ETERNAL lifeline that JESUS has thrown them through His ULTIMATE SACRIFICE, the GREATEST SACRIFICE IN HISTORY, on that cross on Calvary.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Yes, He loves the WORLD but not the SINNERS who taint it!

But again it comes to LOVE, HATE and knowing before we're BORN who is going to Hell and who isn't. We're given a choice, but He already knows what choice we'll make! That means He is allowing people to be born who He KNOWS will choose SIN. God could easily allow only those who will choose Him to be born, thus ensuring most people will get to Heaven. He doesn't do that though. He allows BILLIONS of people He KNOWS will reject Him to be born. He sends them into the world knowing exactly who will accept Him and who won't!

Let's put it this way. Pretend you have a child, and you and your child are facing a small airplane with a faulty engine. There are two bags there, and it's entirely up to the child which bag to pick. One is a real parachute, it's bland and boring but will save your child's life. The other is a pretty bag, lots of flashing lights and a built-in mp3 player. But instead of a parachute, it contains a picnic blanket.

Now, you knew about these two bags before getting into the plane, and knowing your offspring, you know that your child will pick the flashy bag, and he or she is just stupid enough to think they can float down holding the picnic blanket. Once you're in the airplane, the engine that you were aware was faulty stops as expecting so the child has no choice but to jump. However, you have it in your power to keep the child from getting on the plane in the first place.

So, knowing your mildly-retarded child will pick the wrong bag and plummet to his or her death, do you love your child enough that you will be horribly sad as he or she speeds toward the ground as you knew he or she would, do you hate your child enough to gladly watch him or her regret a very stupid decision, or do you love your child so much that you would keep him or her from getting on the plane?

God allows BILLIONS of children to get on the plane, even though He knows most of them will pick the FLASHY BAG. He even allows the actual parachute to be HIDDEN from many of them, or He talks them them out of taking the parachute that will save their lives (John 12:40 He hath blinded their eyes, and hardened their heart; that they should not see with their eyes, nor understand with their heart, and be converted, and I should heal them). That's some TWISTED KIND OF LOVE! No, it only makes sense that He HATES MOST PEOPLE, and only loves (and GREATLY loves!) those of us He knows will choose the SACRIFICE OF JESUS!

International BURN a Koran Day

I am very, VERY excited about tomorrow! International BURN a Koran Day only comes once a year, and tomorrow's festivities promise to be FUN FUN FUN!
It may seem like a lot, but I've spent over $2500 on Korans to stoke the bonfire, so expect a BIG ROARING FLAME for families to gather around and roast hot dogs and marshmallows. Pastor Terry Jones at Dove World Outreach Center may be a little to LIBERAL at times, but the HOLY SPIRIT was WITH HIM when the LORD gave Pastor Jones the idea to start such a terrific holiday!
If you're in the area tomorrow, bring the kids, bring your appetite, and bring PLENTY of Korans, it's going to be a HUMDINGER of a day!

"Iron Man" is an ATTACK ON GOD!

Friends, it has come to my attention that the LIEberal, God-hating, America LAST wackos in Hellyweird have done it again! Apparently there is a series of movies about something called an "Iron Man"!

As we know, God is omnipotent...

Matthew 19:26 But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

One of the absolute PROOFS of His omnipotence is His ability to create the only thing that can stand against Him - iron chariots!

Judges 1:19 And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.

(He can discomit them as per Judges 4:13-16, but He can't drive them out.)
Now why the Lord would create something He can't defeat, who knows? We can NOT presume to know His mind beyond what He has written in His Word, the Holy Bible. Perhaps it was to make things more exciting, the same way "Superman" has "Kryptonite".
However, this does give the enemies of God a weapon against Him. If He can't drive out iron chariots (by His own design), why not try making an IRON MAN!
This is SICKENING! While the Bible does specifically say iron chariots, and perhaps it's only iron made into the shape of a chariot that God designed to be the one thing He can't stop, it makes perfect sense for Satanists, witches, and atheists to try iron in other forms to see if God can't drive them out either!
Something needs to be done about this abominable attack on the Lord. Get on the phone and call your congressman! Write a letter to your senator! Hellyweird has gone TOO FAR and must be forced by law to stop this outrageous behavior!

Let's get back to REAL, MORAL families and marriage!

The recent attack on traditional marriage out of California is SADDENING but not really SHOCKING to people who have been PAYING ATTENTION. For years now, people of FAITH and MORALS have been warning of the DOWNWARD SPIRAL of declining decency in our society, a slippery slope to DEGRADATION and DESPAIR.
If we want to stop the onslaught against families and happiness that is "gay" "marriage", we can't just stop at keeping homosexuals in their place, HIDDEN AWAY in their LUSTFUL ENTANGLEMENTS from normal people. We need to get MARRIAGE AND FAMILIES BACK ON TRACK!

The first thing that must be done is FIX THE LAWS concerning DIVORCE!
Now it will be a while before a woman who marries but turns out not to be a virgin can be put on death row beside the murderers she is AS EVIL AS (Deuteronomy 21:13-21), but the Bible DOES PERMIT divorce.

Deuteronomy 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.

It appears here that originally it was okay to remarry...

Deuteronomy 24:2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.

There is more after this about what to do if the new husband also wants to send her out of his house, but it's IRRELEVANT NOW because MOSES got a little out of hand and gave BAD ADVICE, but it came from a good place because he was only thinking of the HARDNESS OF THE SINNERS' HEARTS!

Matthew 19:7-9 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

So unless the woman is a SLATTERN who spreads her legs for a man who isn't her husband, you can NO LONGER divorce and remarry! THIS MUST BE MADE INTO LAW SO WE CAN PROTECT THE TRADITIONAL FAMILY!

But what about WIDOWS? Surely it's okay for them to remarry!

1 Timothy 5:9-15 Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man.
Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.
But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry;
Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith.
And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.
I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
For some are already turned aside after Satan.

If a widow is YOUNGER THAN 60, she should be permitted to REMARRY because many of them are ALREADY TURNED ASIDE AFTER SATAN! But widows over 60 should not remarry, nor should they be allowed to find any pleasure!

1 Timothy 5:5-6 Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day.
But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.

Let the elder widow's children or nephews look after them (1 Timothy 5:4), DO NOT LET THEM BECOME DEPENDENT ON THE SOCIALIST WELFARE NANNY STATE! THIS MUST BE MADE INTO LAW SO WE CAN PROTECT THE TRADITIONAL FAMILY!

Of course the only people who should be LEGALLY PERMITTED TO WED are TRUE CHRISTIANS - ONE MAN, ONE WOMAN, and ONE SAVIOR!

Matthew 19:4-6 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

1 Corinthians 7:1-2 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

That takes care of the ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN part, but what about the ONE SAVIOR?

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

If a man doesn't have CHRIST as his head, how can he be expected to be the head of a woman? HE CAN'T! For marriage to work, CHRIST MUST BE INVOLVED! This is why it's urgent to FIX THE LAW so that ONLY TRUE CHRISTIANS (Catholics, Mormons, and Jehovah's Witnesses need not apply) CAN MARRY! THIS MUST BE MADE INTO LAW SO WE CAN PROTECT THE TRADITIONAL FAMILY!

I know what you're thinking. It's one thing to protect MARRIAGE to protect the TRADITIONAL FAMILY, but what about all the Lotharios and floozies who spit in the face of God by shacking up in unholy pits of sin where they fornicate ceaselessly while taking the Lord's name in vain?
We already know from 1 Corinthians 7:1-2 above that while it's best for a man to not touch a woman, to AVOID FORNICATION they MUST MARRY. Sinners ask if fornication is all that bad. I've already pointed you to Deuteronomy 21:13-21 where it's made VERY CLEAR that a WOMAN WHO IS NOT A VIRGIN when she marries is AS EVIL AS A MURDERER! But come on now, do I have to do all your Bible reading for you? Fornicators are DOOMED TO HELL (1 Corinthians 6:9-10) and we MUST NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM (1 Corinthians 5:9). Fornicators are an AFFRONT TO GOD, and therefore are DANGEROUS TO SOCIETY! It's ALL OVER THE BIBLE! Fornication MUST BE MADE ILLEGAL (Deuteronomy again, I should not have to mentioned it a third time). THIS MUST BE MADE INTO LAW SO WE CAN PROTECT THE TRADITIONAL FAMILY!

Then there are the poor children of sex-crazed "parents" who put their own lustful desires AHEAD OF THE NEEDS OF THEIR CHILDREN, GRANDCHILDREN, GREAT GRANDCHILDREN, ETC!

Deuteronomy 23:2 A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

My church is RIGHT WITH GOD and already doesn't allow bastards or their progeny into the congregation. In order for any new person to join the church, they must provide DOCUMENTED PROOF going back TEN GENERATIONS that their parents, grandparents, etc. were LEGALLY MARRIED CHRISTIANS.
Most churches are lax on this, and because of this they are a THREAT TO THE TRADITIONAL FAMILY! The FULL FORCE OF THE LAW should be brought upon these LIBERAL "churches" to ensure that bastards and their offspring are NOT PERMITTED within their doors! THIS MUST BE MADE INTO LAW SO WE CAN PROTECT THE TRADITIONAL FAMILY!

Matthew 5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

Movie Review: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

I was visiting with my sister today and my niece Brandi was inappropriately EXCITED by the latest piece of TRASH from Hellyweird - Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.
In this movie, a HARDCORE ROCK AND ROLLER wants to FORNICATE with a GOTHIC WITCH, but in order to do so he must first engage in what appears to be Oriential "martial arts" with the gothic's "seven evil exes" (and I've got news for you, with rock and roll, witchcraft, and fornication involved even in the "hero", everyone is evil in this "movie").
The "star" of the "film" is one Michael Cera. That name didn't sound American, so I made sure to look him up as soon as I got home. Sure enough, he's CANADIAN! TYPICAL LIBERAL HELLYWEIRD! They can't even give jobs to other American LIEberals! I don't know if anyone has asked Señor Cera for his papers yet, but don't be surprised if that Soviet Canuckistani isn't here legally.
Let me make myself clear. I'm not saying he is, but until I see his papers it is within the realm of possibility that MICHAEL CERA IS AN ILLEGAL ALIEN!
There are only two barely saving graces for this "film" (warranting a half point each).
One - unlike today's sissified boys, the men in this movie are willing to FIGHT, even if only one of the "seven evil exes" is an Islamofacist enemy of America.
Two - most "movies" from Hellyweird work hard to promulgate the LIES of the HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA. In this piece of FORNICATION PROPAGANDA, one of the "evil exes" for the gothic witch is another girl! For once, Hellyweird is being honest that HOMOSEXUALITY IS A CHOICE by having the main "fornication interest" in the "film" be someone who CHOSE TO BE A LESBIAN then CHOSE TO COME OUT OF THE HOMOSEXUAL DEATHSTYLE AND BE NORMAL AGAIN! Well, as "normal" as a hard core rock and rolling gothic witch can be, but we can't expect the Hellyweird leopard to change it's spots completely, can we?
Yes we can, but I don't see it happening anytime soon. Not as long as people continue to pay to see TRASH like this!
Well, I REFUSE TO SEE IT and YOU SHOULD TOO! Don't waste your time or money on it, time that can be better spent in Bible study and money that can be better spent in tithing.

Rating: * (out of five)

Modern men are WEAKLINGS!

Disclaimer: The following is an advertisement on behalf of my husband, Mr. Whitford.

From the beginning of time, men were robust and built to LAST. Adam, the very first man, lived to the ripe old age of 930! Through the years, thanks to sin and the increased liberalism that brings, lifespans got shorter. Now it takes a miracle from God for anyone to live to even 100.
But it's not just a shorter life all this namby pambyism has wrought. Men are PHYSICALLY WEAKER, mere shadows of their former selves!

Judges 14:5-6 Then went Samson down, and his father and his mother, to Timnath, and came to the vineyards of Timnath: and, behold, a young lion roared against him.
And the Spirit of the LORD came mightily upon him, and he rent him as he would have rent a kid, and he had nothing in his hand: but he told not his father or his mother what he had done.

Yes, it's unfair to compare the strength of any man to that of Samson, especially when the Spirit of the LORD comes mightily upon him, so it wouldn't be right to expect any man to be able to rend a lion. BUT BEING ABLE TO REND A KID (baby goat) WAS SOMETHING THAT WAS ONCE CONSIDERED COMPARATIVELY EASY!
How many of today's sissified men can TEAR A GOAT APART WITH THEIR BARE HANDS?!!?
Horror at this realization has prompted my husband, Mr. Whitford, to announce his new business venture: a new BIBLICALLY CORRECT gymnasium for MEN ONLY... The Taut Christian.
Gone will be the useless free weights and treadmills that populate today's liberal atheist gyms. Instead, this facility will concentrate on building muscle through prayer and True Christian fellowship.

1 Timothy 4:8 For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.

After working up a good sweat from wrestling with the demons that have weakened modern gentlemen, members will then be provided with discounted bottles of Mr. Whitford's new sports drink - Alligatorwine.

1 Timothy 5:23 Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine often infirmities.

The Taut Christian will accept early membership enrollment starting Monday, August 9th, with its Grand Opening on Wednesday, September 8th.
Free samples of Alligatorwine will be made available after church tomorrow, Sunday August 8th, and will be given out every Sunday until the gymnasium opens. After that, it will only be available at The Taut Christian until a rollout throughout select stores starting February 2011. (All dates depending on if the Final Trumpet doesn't sound first.)